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Witness Post: Sunday sunday

She felt shame. Sunday’s do that. She felt a stiffness in her neck and a throbbing in her head. How many drinks had she belted down last night? Who was the guy she awoke beside? It was all a blur.

She could not remember anything past the conversation with her girlfriend in the house party bathroom. Her boyfriend was super tired and went home early. She had wanted to stay and party. It had been a long week and she felt she deserved some fun. She started with a kamikaze. After the third drink? Or was it the fifth?  Gone.

She threw on her skimpy black dress. Tiptoeing out, sweater in hand. She couldn’t face him. Calling an Uber, she made her way back to her apartment. Was it Sunday? Yes, that’s what her phone said anyway, Sunday.

As the driver made her way through the wet streets, the passenger felt the emptiness of her actions, but still couldn’t go there. Her head hurt too much. Instead, the memories of Sundays from those middle school years seeped back into her consciousness … she drifted.

Image result for blurry church altar

Splashing water on her face to awaken, dressing quickly in her Sunday best, brushing her hair, she hurried to get ready. She remembers putting on that special make-up in case Rob, that cute guy from behind her in 7th grade math class, were in church.

Rushing out the door so as not to miss the ride with dad, she felt hassled. We are “late for church,” he called in that irritatingly loud voice. Dad was always in a hurry to make it to church. He didn’t want to miss the processional hymn, for some reason that escapes me. Dad was such a pain in the ass about punctuality. Mom, who was even more Catholic than dad, was nearly as late as I was. Somehow we made it to the parking lot and church in time for the processional.

As I think about it, sitting there in the pews was special. The church and the congregation were our people. We had prayed with them and heard the same bad homilies for years. Yet the place held us. It had a certain stillness, quiet and peace. And the music. The music was the best part. It was so contemplative and soothing.

Image result for raindrops window

As the driver approached her apartment, she re-focused on the present. The raindrops are rolling down the window. Lots of questions arise between the head pounding. What time is it? What do I really want? What am I looking for in a guy? Should he be like dad? Now that Dad is gone and I still feel those many irritations, probably not. A guy like my boyfriend? Maybe. A guy like that hunk in the bed? No. Never.

What was I thinking? Not much, apparently … I have a lot to sort out to get the guy thing right.

Gratitude is having a day of rest at the end of a long week. Sundays allows me to take stock of what is going on and what lies ahead. What do I remember from last night, exactly? Should I check for STD’s? Should I tell my boyfriend about this? Lots to ponder this rainy Sunday afternoon. Maybe next weekend I could look for a church to sit in the back and listen to the music? Sundays can be good for something again, besides mental and physical recovery.

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