Witness Post: Up to the Flowers

Coffee cup with flowers painted on the inside of the cup

Witness Post: Up to the Flowers

“I would like a little more coffee today. Could you fill my cup ‘up to the flowers,’ please?”

Was that it? Was that exactly what she said?

Is that what she meant, when she made a simple request of a child nearby? Or did she have a hyper-sense that our father needed his coffee mug filled to the brim and she wanted to reserve enough for his morning Java, as the dark grounds steeped?

Over the years, her question shortened to the request “up to the flowers, please,” which seemed to take on the meaning of, “Not too much caffeine today, I want the energy without the jitters.”

Words, Meals & Meaning

Our mom used the acronym FHB (family hold back) to emphasize that we had “just enough” of the servings, when guests arrived. We were expected to take modest portions, no matter the hunger pangs, so that there was ample food and drinks to go around. Most days she could orchestrate a breakfast (scrambled eggs and bacon, milk, orange juice, porcelain plates and cups), and to keep eight kids in line six days a week. Sundays were another story all together, splicing in Sunday best clothes and a Catholic church service in the mix. Most days, when mom finally settled down to her own meal, she would gently ask the child who was the closest to the coffee pot to fill her cup at the appropriate level to match her day ahead.

When our oldest sister, Eleanor, was 17, our youngest sister, Mary, arrived. So you can imagine that with eight of us total, those meals were particularly challenging. Over the years the eldest kids peeled off to college and the breakfast (and dinner) rituals slackened, as the tableand chairs were less and less cheek-to-jowl.

Eleanor Evans Hooper

How do you thank a mom who gave her life for you and your seven siblings? Is it too late for the thank-you’s? She has been gone since 1986, yet there is still time to reminisce and to feel her presence. She died before many of our children were born, one niece and three nephews, who were too young to remember her, really. Her legacy of efficiency and economy is extraordinary. She earned two master’s degrees and worked full-time at a Senior Center in Baltimore, while the youngest children were growing up. May we all have enough energy in the day, as we care for our homes, jobs, spouses, children and extended families. All eight of us have reached adulthood and are parents of our own families. On July 4th, the country celebrates her birthday with fireworks and proud parades.

Thanks, Mom, for demonstrating moderation, control, table manners, and style, all while the maelstrom of moods were swirling around the breakfast table. We love you, and still want to make you proud of us ‘up to the flowers’ and beyond.