Word Smith: Ma Mere-isms

Ma Mere-isms: Guide to Living a Full and Happy Life

Barbara Ipsaro has espoused and invented many expressions over the years. She is direct, smart, educated, funny and full of love. Below are some her and her family’s quotations that capture Barbara’s unique expressions and LaPorte family traditions. A few Bery-isms, Papa-ism’s and Bro-isms are added for good measure. A strong woman of faith, we adore Barbara for her joyful approach to this chapter in her life. She is for us perpetually MA MERE!

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• When in Italy, before anyone of her children was married: “I have an announcement to make; when you have children, I want to be called ‘Ma Mere.’ And I don’t want to babysit your children. I am telling you now so that you don’t take it personally. It’s not about your children. It’s that I’ve been taking care of children for 25 years!”
• “Is it moving you forward?”
• “She has very unfortunate hair.” (Bery-ism)

• “Education lifts you up and out.”
• “This item looks like it was made by ‘loving hands at home.'” (Bery-ism)
• “If you wear a lot of black, put on something that will dance on it, like a sparkling necklace.”

• “Never go into a shop with the sign: Antiques and Collectibles!”
• “I like to read the New York Times Sunday Review section first, to see what the smart people are saying.”
• “I like reading what Peggy Noonan says about politics in the Wall Street Journal. She’s Catholic, you know.”

• “Today: Weight Watchers!”
• After any event, when we pull up to the front door we always say, “Didn’t we have a GOOD time??? Oh, we DID!”
• In decorating: “Whatever you want to camouflage…it will fade out.”

• “If something’s on sale and you see a lot of the same style on the rack, don’t bother trying it on. There’s something wrong with it.”
• “That priest is bucking for Cardinal, if you ask me.” (Papa-ism)
• “I’m easy to buy for. I love everything beautiful!”

• “Hoppy uppie two little girls.” (Ughhh! said Missy. “I hated that expression at the time, but it’s funny now!”)
• “Whether you’re moving across the country or across the street, it’s all the same amount of work.”
• “The thing about having a designer is that you make fewer mistakes.”

• “You are 18 years old,” meaning I am too old for my misguided action.
• “You are 18 years old,” meaning I am too young to be thinking I could do something you need to be 21 or older to do.
• Looking at a jar of face cream that promises to lift and firm, “That won’t work!”

• “I think it’s just FABULOUS!” (Ma Mere said ‘fabulous’ before it was cool.)
• “No, you may not make our mistakes, but you will make your own.”
• “The hard part about having adult children is that you have to watch them go through it.”
• When Ma Mere & Bro were rafting down the Colorado through the Grand Canyon, one morning a rafting mate approached her and said, “If anyone on this trip would have a finger nail file, it would be you.” Ma Mere replied, “As a matter of fact, I DO!”

• “I can only deal with what I know. So, if you don’t tell me, I can’t help you.”
• During “bed time chats,” Meg and Missy remembered that Mom would say mid-sentence, “You girls have GOT to go to bed!”
• “Good people take after their parents. In other words, they dig in and help their parents when they need help.”

• “Tell me if I am repeating myself. I have so many kids, I can’t remember who I said what to!”
• “It’s not what you say. It’s how you say it that matters!”
• “I’m up to here (above her head) with Jeans! I don’t need to see another Opera star in jeans … I just close my eyes and pretend they are wearing gorgeous, designer costumes instead.”

• “We Bagli girls always choose the most expensive items on the rack.”
• “‘Busy,’ (Elizabeth) your tastes will change; just give it a try.”
• When we were at Max, trying on clothes in their Boulder dressing room, Ma Mere would say, “I can’t tell a thing about that outfit with those socks on!” And we would whip off the socks for mom’s unencumbered appraisal. This Ma Mere-ism has been passed down, with Tracy saying the exact same words with her daughters.

• “Don’t be afraid of your children.”
• (Time-out advice for parents) “Don’t let it hurt you too much. Stay the course, despite what the children say or do.”
• “Around Christmas time, we went to Immaculate Conception Church for mass. It is extremely conservative! By the time we left the excruciatingly long service, we didn’t believe in Christmas anymore!”

• Loud Clap, every morning while in Ocean City: “Let’s HIT THE BEACH!” (Papa-ism)
• ”It’s quittin’ time!” (Papa-ism)
• “Never give up on your children. They are who they are. They’ll come back.”

• “Children haven’t changed. Parents have.”
• “My goal as a parent was never to raise good children. My goal was to raise good adults.”
• “No matter where you live, you can always find people to help you. Not as a friend, but as a great helper….OK, maybe as a friend, as well.”

• “Does this house have good party parking?”
• “It’s hard to see ourselves.”
• Regarding gay marriage: “It is hard enough to find love in the world; so if two people of the same gender find love with each other, I say, ‘Good for them!’”

• “I don’t like putting on makeup, but I love the result!”
• “Habits creep in and out.”
• “Any woman who has buried her mother, still longs to please her.”

• Ma Mere on scarves: “It is good to have a little something to distract them.”
• Shopping advice: “I know it doesn’t look like much, but just try this on for me. You can’t tell what it looks like on the hanger!”
• Tracy said, “Mom, I’ll help you get out of the car.” Ma Mere said, “Oh, I can get out. It’s just not going to be graceful!”

• “Tommy, run upstairs and get my cigarettes! Would you, please?”
• Here is a Ma Mere-ism passed to the next generation: Tracy said to Henry, “Get Margaret to fill the gas tank, that’s why we have children.”
• Bro on presents: “Always give her a little something she can hang on herself.”
• Add-on comment: “Never give her an anniversary present with a warranty.”

• “It might be what they do, but it’s not what we do.”
• Long pause, then the filler word … “So!….“
• “People are living far too long these days. If you want my opinion, if any of them wants a face lift, they should get it!”

• At 5:00 pm: “It’s ‘Howdy Doody Time!'” (Papa-ism)
• “It takes 10 minutes longer every decade to get ready for bed.”

• “Your children already know how you feel about everything.”
• On dessert: “Henry, you can have grapes. We’re having French vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce!” (found on p. 711 in Joy of Cooking)

• “Let your children mourn their mistakes, because then they’ll make fewer of them later on.”
• “Build your life around yourself,” said Dr. Gillie Godenne.

• “Hang around with people 10 years younger than you are. It helps keep you young and current.”
• “The older you get, the younger your hairdresser should be.”
• “You don’t need a face lift right now, but I definitely will be the one to tell you when you do!”

• “The things you really worry about? They usually don’t happen.”
• “This thought is 30-seconds old…”
• “You have to keep up with the times!”

• “Max’s clothes never make me feel dowdy.” Barbara Ipsaro, pictured above, at age 70
• “Whatever you want to spend your money on, you can find to spend your money on.”
• “I have to grow into my day: drink my coffee, read the paper, etc.”

• “The best ‘cure’ for breaking up is a new boyfriend. It always worked for me!”
• “I always buy the original of everything: Thomas’s English Muffins, Werthers Candies…whole milk. They are just better, in my opinion. Knock-offs aren’t worth it.”

• “No bows. No ruffles. Those are too ‘little girl’ for you.”
• “Have you noticed that everyone is wearing tennis shoes everywhere? News anchors, CEO’s, everyone. If you notice that everyone in the entire world is buying something, stop buying it! Running shoes, any apparel, furniture, even kitchen designs. It doesn’t have to be exactly the way other people do it.”
• “I LOVE having my kids here, because I can get them to do stuff.”

• “There’s nothing more passive these days than getting your hair colored. You just sit there!”
• “The clothes in that shop are what I call ‘pedestrian.’ You know, everyday clothes. Nothing special.”
• “No one is fully an adult until they are emotionally and financially independent of their parents.” (Bro-ism)

• “The recipe for everything that tastes good calls for a ‘pound of budda!'”
• “Let’s just even out the cake a little.”

• When visiting Buckingham Palace: “It ain’t much, but we call it home!”
• In London: “I just love being driven around.”
• In New York anyone who looks fabulous is dressed in all black outfits.

• “I could totally live in Oregon. You don’t have to pump your own gas!”
• “I just pray sometimes that I won’t get found out!” (When Ma Mere’s trying to act like she knows something.)

• Barbara, mother of six, asked about the Blessed Mother, “What does she know? Her and her ‘one!'”
• Henry’s comment about Ma Mere: “She may not always be correct, but she’s never uncertain.”